A monster poem for July

If you've read Lucy Lick-Me-Not and the Greedy Gubbins you might remember a bright green monster on page 13. Well, when Bret came up with that amazing illustration, I thought that big green guy deserved a poem of his own, which will be added to the growing collection for our monster book.

Here is the poem, and as the title suggests it's a little dark:

Harvey Papier-Mâché (the child-eating monster)


There's a big green guy with horns on his head,

he has huge fanged teeth and his tail glows red.

His tail glows red when children are near

and just after that they soon disappear.

He looks quite harmless in a goofy kind of way,

his name is Harvey, Harvey Papier-Mâché.

It's not a pleasant story, it's not a pleasant fact

that Harvey eats children who act like brats.

You know the kid I mean-- the one who thinks they're cute

and then throws a tantrum and acts like a brute.

Or kids who tease short kids or ones with ginger hair,

the ones who think they're special - who think they walk on air.

The ones who can't play nicely and never share their toys,

it doesn't matter if they're girls or if they are boys.

There's no sugar, no spice and no puppy dog tails,

just scrumptiously juicy and tender entrails.

His only requirement is that they must be brats -

'cause self involved children are the easiest to catch.

They're so self-obsessed they don't see him coming,

by the time that they do, it's too late for running.

But it's all over quickly as he eats them head first,

and really he's only eating the worst of the worst.

I said it wasn't pleasant, but you shouldn't worry

unless you're a brat, then you'd better scurry!

More soon,


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